Fund My Wallet

Let me tell you a story. I was born as a very young boy; no more than five. My father died horribly in an on-land boating accident and my mother, aged seventy-two, was left to care me as a single widow. I was fed nothing but expired, uncooked steel-cut oats once a day, and had nothing to drink but the sweat that dripped off my body during my 18-hour shift in the Siberian diamond mines (which I dragged myself across the ground to everyday, as we were too poor to afford legs). As a result, my entire childhood I was deprived of the joys that other children felt. I had never laughed- nay, I had never even smiled- until, one day, I found an American quarter on the ground outside of the hole I dug for myself and my mother (who was, at this point, dying of a non-contagious combination of smallpox, Alzheimer's, Ebola, and bone cancer). This brings me to the reason I've started this GnomeFundMe- I like money. Money makes me happy. Money fills the gaping chunk of my heart that was torn out by the vultures we refer to as 'plebeianism'. Now that you've listened to my appeal, you can understand that I would greatly appreciate any funding going towards my noble goal of 'doing whatever I want' and curing my disability of 'being poor'. What Am I Raising Funds For? personal gain; be like elong musk or jeff pesos Why It Matters i like money How Funds Will Be Used however i want